“My sister in law made an appointment for marriage counseling because her husband greeted their dog before her when coming home from work.”
“One of my clients was really struggling with the color of dog that her husband got for her. She wanted a specific breed of dog since she was a kid and her husband did a bunch of research and got her one from a good line of the breed, but its coat was darker than the dog she imagined, and she was *really* struggling with it.
We had a few sessions about expectations clouding your happiness and it turns out the dog was the most explicit example of a much bigger issue she had in her life. But I had to seriously put my WTF on hold when she told me about the shade of her dog being a problem.”
“One lady called and spoke with me first about how her husband was horrible at communication and never listened to her. She asked for a couples session.
As soon as she ambushed her husband with a “there is a therapist on the line that wants to speak with you” her husband screamed: “YOU CALLED A THERAPIST BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO PAINT THE HOUSE PURPLE?”
She wanted me to convince him to paint the house purple.“
“My uncle and his wife, reasoning: she lost a frying pan.”
“It’s always the dishes. I don’t see couples anymore because I cannot have one more conversation with adult human beings about the various philosophies of dish washing.”
“Couldn’t decide on which chicken to buy for their chicken farm…”
“My cousin went to counselling because her husband cuts the sandwich straight inside of diagonal. when i first heard it, i thought it was a joke.”
“Nothing is really stupid in making the decision to come in for a couples session. But the most startling session I’ve had was when the couple had barely sat down and one of them informed the other that the relationship was over, turned to me and said “thank you for supporting (partner) through this” and left the office.”
“Not me but my buddy’s wife demanded counseling after he refused to “fix” his habit of leaving the seat up. Apparently the straw that broke the camel’s back was he didn’t realize his poo ‘came back up’ and she fell into the toilet on his old, waterlogged [email protected]#t.”
“There was a couple who fought because the husband stopped liking cheese for some reason. No lactose intolerance , he just stopped liking cheese.”
“When my ex and I were having problems, she suggested marriage counseling. We went to a few sessions. I found out after the divorce she only went because she thought it would make her look better in the divorce. Indiana is a no fault state so all it did was cost me money.”
“My aunt and uncle do weekly vists because my aunt doesnt like that my uncle masturbates. They have been going for 3 years, and my uncle isnt gonna budge idk why he keeps paying money to a counselor who clearly isn’t ever going to convince him to stop.”
“He insists Jar jar is a Sith Lord and she “just doesn’t care”.
“Didn’t know how to decide wether to have salt and pepper or just salt or pepper on eggs.”
“Bananas. . . Someone bought the wrong amount of bananas.”