"Husband’s birthday cake baked up a bit stiffer than I intended."
"Sooooo I missed a little patch of hair while shaving the back of Steven’s head…and I didn’t notice it until Tonya’s wedding reception after everyone had already seen it."
"You might be failing as a wife when you send your hubby off with his lunch box and you forget to actually put meat on the bread. Ya know. The actual lunch part"
"The cat is not a fan of my girlfriend…"
"We went to new york for Brandon’s birthday. it was fun. I forgot the cake."
"So.. Evan turned 34 today. I thought he was turning 33 so I showed up with this. We’re officially “forgetting what age we are” old now"
"Yesterday I refused to let Johnny purchase a $5 umbrella because it never rains in California. Tonight…downpour during California’s biggest drought. So I felt bad and made him a trash bag poncho. Even Leila is judging me."
"Well, guess I should have had the boyfriend’s gift shipped to my parents."
"I made the fries a little crispier than my husband likes them… Whoops."
"When you get back from a trip to NY, and he’s got a homemade dinner waiting for you, with dessert in the freezer and your show queued up on the tv, and you say “what’s all this for?”, to which he replies “it’s the 3rd”… and then you realize you’ve forgotten that it’s your anniversary"
"Wife of the year. Woke up and loudly yelled, “Happy birthday!” to my husband. He was like, “Nope! My birthday is tomorrow!”"
"I may have left the brownies in a little too long"
"I bought two 3 candles for Nate’s birthday, one of them didn’t survive the trip home… but I put it on the pie anyway because I wanted full credit for effort."
"When you go to wrap hubbies birthday presents and you realize you’ve forgotten to get wrapping paper. Good job his color blind"
"Each time my girlfriend fails to reset the microwave’s timer."
"So this is what happens when you wash an older pillow… um… now what do I do? My pillow washed fine, this pillow is my husband’s"
"Wife brought home the pizza… And THEN dropped it"
"When you try to surprise your boyfriend with something he’s been wanting but it’s bigger than you are and requires a truck, sorry bud you gotta get it yourself!"
"Today I embarrassingly accept the worst wife award!"
"When your husband overestimates your ability to use the grill"
"I know I am terrible and should stop this and give the Man Mountain some dignity and privacy, but when gold like this presents itself, what am I to do… Worst wife ever"
"I know how to operate can opener. I am adult."
"When you ask your boyfriend to get a shower rod and curtain for the guest bathroom…. I guess I should’ve been more specific"
"Wifey managed to spill milk in the boot of her car and with the current heat, the milk has gone off…. I shouldn’t laugh the smell was UNREAL…"
"Wife dropped the pot pie AND the wine"
"Wife waited too long to go Valentine’s Day card shopping"