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And it was God who sent the plagues not Jesus.
So it really should have been
Jesus: Open up.
Person: Why?
Jesus: So I can save you from my @$$ of a father.
The earliest Christians maintained that Jesus was a human being who was made God - a god - a divine being. Later they ended up saying that Jesus was born to the union of God and a mortal because the Holy Spirit came upon Mary and that's how she conceived Jesus, so Jesus literally had God as his father.
The Dog has spoken
As part of the coolest boy band ever, "The Holy Trinity", he is in fact God. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost have brought you such hits as "Love Your Neighbor", "Help the Poor", and "You'll Burn in Hell if you Masturbate".
I remember seeing them on their last world tour, with Satan as the opening act. Epic! (The T-shirts were overpriced though)
yeah, because trying to explain any of that christian biblical bullsh#t with logic and reason goes anywhere...
It's all hearsay, for all we know it was his aunt Betsy.
It's all fairy tales and old wives tales anyway.