"I once saw an old bloke slowly walk near a tree, have his hat pushed off by one of the low hanging branches, then proceed to, slowly, pick up the hat, declare “I avenge myself” in a neutral tone, and then break a twig off the tree before slowly walking off."
"At my old job, I once walked in on my manager thoroughly engrossed in making a herd of balloon animals while drinking a beer at 10am. I work in pharmaceutical marketing. Some of the balloon animals were pretty cool, he gave me a Dachshund shaped one."
"My office is a two-story building on a cul-de-sac across from a vet clinic. Between us is a dumpster.
One day, a car parked by the dumpster and the people in it started [email protected]#king. The vet’s office was apparently not pleased by this act happening in their parking log. The vet techs started coming out, one at a time, to casually throw something away to cause the dumpster lid to slam shut loudly.
Our office started taking bets on how many techs it took for the two to take the hint and leave.
"J#cking off to an old school workout video at 11 AM. I work in a hospital."
"I used to work in retail and I did a rotational evening shift with this weird dude. He was about 50 ish, fairly mild-mannered, didn’t make too much fuss, friendly etc. One day I didn’t clock in until 20 minutes after I was supposed to start due to a car accident blocking my route to work.
Normally I greet him at the warehouse door as he has to let me in, but he must have assumed I wasn’t coming. Because I spotted him in the dark corner by the generator, with a small spotlight on the shelf behind him. He had a pile of broken stuff returned by customers and was looking over it. I pressed the doorbell and he hurriedly put it all away and came jogging over.
I asked him about it and he denied it at first, but I said I saw it and he relented. He liked to fix things and take them home, some he gave to charity, some he gave to his grandkids, some he gave to his wife. The dude was prolific. He had hidden a compartment in a shelf and padlocked it, it was behind a panel in the internal wall behind the generator. For about an hour I watched him take apart an electronic 9v drill, find the fault and put it all back together again.
From that moment on, neither of us did much work in the warehouse. To be fair, he confessed that he enjoyed the night shifts because all the day shift had done most of the work. He would spend the first hour or so tidying up and finishing off the day shifts job and then he would go out of sight of the CCTV cameras and just fix things, because he loved doing it."
"This intern who used to sit near me would eat yogurt every morning and he would moan while eating. Wtf."
"I was sitting next to this guy in an office meeting. He seemed to be taking lots of notes so I looked to see what he was writing. He was drawing on the conference room table. Like, writing his nickname in a sort of bad graffiti style. He’d also drawn something that looked like a mushroom cloud explosion. I nudged him and mouthed “what the [email protected]#k!” He looked at me like “what?” then looked around the room and his face went white.
He’d forgotten where he was and his mind, out of boredom I guess, went back to “School Mode”."
"One guy when he needs to think or to take a break from his desk will walk around the halls pretending to smoke a cigarette. He will pretend to take a drag, pretend to blow it out, and occasionally tap the ashes. When he gets back to his office he will throw it on the ground and put it out with his foot. All imaginary. I asked coworkers about this. I assumed maybe he smoked and this was some way to cope with the loss of the ritual/routine but no. He has never smoked a day in his life."
"So the bathroom of our workplace was structured like an actual home bathroom–it had a bowl, along with a sink with a mirror over it, and dividing the room was the curtain which contained the shower area, but was simply used as a storage area for cleaning supplies. Usually the curtain was pulled all the way to the end so all the cleaning materials wouldn’t be in clear view when you enter it.
So one time my colleague did her deed when she was done, flushed the toilet, and proceeded to the sink to wash her hands, but when she looked in the mirror, she was HORRIFIED when she saw someone else’s reflection from behind the curtain–it was our workplace’s new cleaning lady! It turns out, cleaning lady was hiding behind the curtain since she was texting on her phone…but she didn’t leave when she heard someone enter and probably hoped no one noticed she was there."
"Someone caught me: I was walking to my car for lunch, I was gonna have hotdogs, so I was singing the theme to Catdog (an old Nickelodeon cartoon) but with the word “hotdogs” instead of Catdog, and kind of in the style of a smarmy lounge singer. An older lady I work with got out of her car right as I was passing and asked “What are you singing?”
My mind went blank, I honestly couldn’t think of anyway to explain it to her, it’s not like she would have watched Catdog. I just said “I… I don’t know”, got in my car and left."
"Worked at Burger King in High School. I was told by a manager to go grab something out of the walk-in cooler. When I walked in the larger guy I worked with was in the middle of eating the small prepackaged pies we sold at the time. There was cream on his face and a few empty boxes near him. All he said was, ” Please don’t tell”. Was hard to look him in the eye after that."
"At a previous job, we had to let a guy go that just wasn’t really capable of keeping up with the work-load. He was let go, and one day one of us went into his desk drawers to find something… We discovered a collection of post-it-notes, where he had drawn (or I should say attempted to draw) little portraits of almost everyone in the office. He wasn’t a very good artist, and we all got a good chuckle, because it was impossible to tell who almost anyone was without the names he had written at the top of each one. He hadn’t done them to be mean…
We surmised that he likely just spent a lot of his time he was supposed to be working… drawing instead but looking like he was working… We are talking there was like 50-60 post-it-note portraits. Most people kept theirs for a while afterward."
"My boss was an odd person. He also drank a lot. He would often bring a can of beer into work, and pour it into a coffee mug in the morning, so he could drink it inconspicuously. One day, he ran out of clean mugs, so he got a large bowl, filled it with beer, and drank directly from the bowl.
At this point, everyone had long since caught onto his antics and requested he just drink out of the can like a regular human being."
"I did some work experience at a music shop a few years back, and once this woman came in to talk to the owner. It looked like she had just been out of the hospital, still with her little band on her wrist. She started spouting off a lot of stuff but killing herself, how she’ll be dead anyway in a few months (I’m guessing she had cancer). It was a strange thing to see when you’re 16. Just as she is about to leave, the owner and his friend walked up to her, put their hands on her head, and started praying in tongues. I just stared in bewilderment, I didn’t even know that was still a thing."
"I had a coworker who was a really lovely guy. We all worked a cubicle desk job and he was very helpful and unassuming. But for some reason, he would bring a whole bunch of home-made sandwiches (standard white bread with deli meat and cheese) from home and try to peddle them off to the rest of us during lunch. I think this happened for a week before HR talked to him and told him to cut that [email protected]#t out."
"J#cking off to surf videos in a booth after hours…at a pizza place. The worst part was that it was reported by someone walking by who saw it in the window and then we had to watch it on the security tapes to confirm. Oh the puns we wanted to make while confronting him (hand over fist, j#rkin off at work, etc.).
Also, it set precedent for a rule we never thought we’d have to actually state during orientation."