“Graduation day was great, until this moment.”
"This girl took the road rules a little too seriously and stopped at the traffic lights for cars."
"All you have left to do after this kind of hug is to just sink through the floor."
“Got home from work today. Realized I’ve been walking around meeting clients with a giant 6-7” rip in my pants."
“A duck in a subway train came up and started to gaze at me. I felt awkward.”
“She traded me for the window seat before we got on the plane.”
"Here is what happens if you fall asleep on the way"
“Ordered a custom sequin pillow as a gag gift for my brother’s birthday but the company switched up the orders. The person who received mine is going to be infinitely more confused than I was.”
“It’s awkward when you come to the office and see someone else wearing the same clothes as you are.”
"The guy didn’t expect to be caught red-handed."
"This guy was just trying to remove a lash from the girl’s eye and apparently didn’t expect her eyelashes to be false."
"The flight attendant rushed out of the bathroom."
“It’s funny. I took a bath with some coconut oil and can’t get out of it now. I just keep sliding around like a giant greased up potato in a roasting dish.”
“The car insurance lady asked my mom for the front, rear, & side views, but she didn’t get the memo.”
“Today we had a supplier from a different company visiting our office. When he was signing the docs, I saw ’my pen’ in his hands and asked him to leave it. Now I have 2 pens.”
“My sister saw Sean Connery taking pictures with all these people. She muscled her way in and asked for a photo, all pleased. It wasn’t Sean Connery. This man had been taking pictures with his family.”