“Get off, I’m bringing my sausages on this bus.”
“I faced all 200 chairs in my lecture hall toward the back.”
“The cola wars have escalated.”
“First I cut it the ’right’ way, but then I thought, ’I’m almost 30, I can eat it the way I want to.’”
“I noticed my roommate’s batteries and charger for the first time today.”
"An IKEA shark breaking the law"
“I’m in a suit and tie but my inner rebel is jubilant!”
"A Nintendo HDMI cable being used on an Xbox — let the fight of the consoles begin!"
“Eat whatever you want. It’s a free country.”
“I feel so cool.”
"A married couple came into an Apple Store. Pay attention to the husband’s bag."
“A box can’t tell me where to put my pies.”
“I didn’t keep this bag away from cheese.”
“Use the elbow.”
“This is my fourth grader’s math homework. She said, ’This way, I didn’t even need to think about it.’”
“I’m tearing the opposite corner.”
“They’re both coffee.”
