"When there’s a weirdly specific, random info dump in casual conversations between characters — especially within the first minute or two."
"If you don’t laugh once at a trailer for a comedy, don’t bother watching the movie."
"If the trailer has blurbs from reviews, I always check to see who wrote each review because — for really bad movies — they will often put multiple blurbs from the same good review."
"If press around the movie desperately points out that the directors/producers/writers/studios were involved in other beloved movies, but those barely relate to this movie’s themes. It reads as an attempt to lure in fans. For me, that always means the movie can’t stand on its own."
"If the ads for it say, ‘Critics are calling it laugh-out-loud funny!’ It’s almost always garbage."
"If it’s clearly just a ‘star vehicle.’ Like, if all the hype around the film is about one star’s ‘riveting performance,’ but there’s no corresponding critical praise for the story, directing, special effects, etc."
"If any of the actors have an overly expressive ‘O’ face on the film’s poster."
"When a comedy has poop/fart jokes, and outdated meme/pop culture references."
"The release date tells you everything you need to know. For instance, the only movies that go into wide release in January or February are: Oscar bait that got limited releases in December in NY/LA to qualify for the Oscars, a romance or two the Friday before Valentine’s Day, and cr#p that the distributors are assuming will bomb."
"In animated movies, it’s a red flag for me whenever the animation is too ‘clean.’ It’s not ‘ugly,’ but everything is just a little too smooth and a little too bright."
"I love Hall and Oates, but if ‘You Make My Dreams Come True’ is used in the trailer for a movie, it’s likely going to be trash."
"A 6/10 on IMDb. Some movies will have lower than that, but are ‘so bad they’re good.’ But a 6/10 rating usually means it will be bad in ways that vaguely annoy you, which is somehow worse."
"If I see boobs in the first 10 minutes. I’ve watched a lot of really bad movies and one surprising thing they all have in common is that they have a naked woman some time early on. My theory is that they are trying to trick you into sticking around, as if you’ll think to yourself, ‘Surely if there were boobs in the first 10 minutes, there will be some more boobs later!’ But don’t be fooled. Those were the only boobs."
"When it stars celebrities who have no experience in acting"
"When you feel the preview showed you basically the whole movie."