"In 1998, Honduras Built A Bridge Over The Choluteca River, But Hurricane Mitch Rerouted The River"
"Lose right arm and break my left hand. Friend gives me this shirt"
"Turtle Of Destruction"
"My mate took two weeks off work, went to Africa, climbed Kilimanjaro and raised over E300 grand for charity. Having hiked and climbed for 7 days, he reached the summit and asked his guide to take a picture before his iPhone battery died because of the -25 cold. And here it is..."
"Take Notes On How Flip Someone Off With Words"
"There's a Banyan tree in Pakistan that has been chained and officially arrested since 1898. This happened when James Squid, a British officer thought the tree was moving towards him after drinking alcohol."
"Violet Jessop, a ship nurse. She served on each of the three 'sisters' Titanic, Britannic and Olympic. While she was on board, the Olympic collided with a war ship and nearly sank, the Titanic hit an iceberg and sank, the Britannic hit an underwater mine and sank. Violet survived all three."
"Mother-In-Law Just Served Me This Piece Of Cake..."
"Paid Extra For A Window Seat. Got The One Seat On The Plane With A Wall"
"In Thailand, it was considered a capital offense punishable by death if someone touched the queen. In 1880, the queen drowned when her royal boat capsized on the way to the palace. The many witnesses to the accident did not dare to tuch the queen while she was drowning"
"The Diamond In My Ring Fell Out Today. It Came With A 10 Year Workmanship Guarantee. Yesterday Was Our 10th Wedding Anniversary"
"A man survived the sinking of a ship in 1871, leaving him traumatized afterwards. Some forty years later, he was finally able to overcome his fears and sail again, only to die on the Titanic."
"Tsutomu Yamaguchi was working in Hiroshimæ when the city was bombed. Surviving, he returned to his employer in Nagasaki three days later That morning, while being berated by his supervisor as "crazy" after describing how a single bomb had destroyed Hiroshima, the second atomic bomb hit Nagasaki. Yamaguchi survived again, and is the only known survivor of both bombinqs."
“Hey Honey We’re Gonna Be On The Front Page”. The Front Page:
"28 Years Without Breaking A Bone Until A Giant Stone Slab Riddled With Wood Screws Crushed And Impaled Both My Middle Fingers. Please Enjoy This Picture Of Me Freshly Bandaged Up."
"Opened A Can Of Beans To Find No Beans At All."
"A Wasp Rolled Over By A Train."
"Pope Formosus Who Had Been Dead For 7 Months Was Removed From His Tomb To Be Propped Up And Put On Trial. The Corpse Was Found Guilty And Was Stripped, Had Three Fingers Removed, Then Reburied, Got Dug Up Once Again, Tied To Weights, And Thrown In A River"