“I ordered”
“I got”
“I washed my husband’s sportswear and 3 pumas ran into the washing machine.”
“Woke up and discovered my wife moved our coat stand yesterday.”
“I tried to make a frog out of icing.”
“Your frog looks better than my frog cupcakes.”
"If you don’t know what to do, do something impressive."
“Came home to a newly laid concrete driveway. I did not order a concrete driveway nor any other type of driveway”
“When the person that laid it came back to see if I was happy with the job, he realized it was the wrong address. I now have a free concrete driveway.”
“My left AirPod fell in the oven and I didn’t notice until it was well-baked 20 minutes afterward.”
“I interrupted their moment.”
“My brother-in-law’s new fishing chair came in.”
“Just tried making a crispy tortilla on my electric stove.”
“A 9-year-old asked why I dressed like a pencil today...”
“Was looking for a remote job”
"Some people might even like this."
“My wife with her new camera, and my wife’s first photo with her new camera. Her services are available for weddings, bar mitzvahs, and funerals. Please book early to avoid disappointment.”
"The dog is the doorbell."
“Herbert the vacuum seems a little dramatic after sending me messages like, ’I’m stuck near the cliff.’”
