"We Found My Wife’s Phone In The Toilet Yesterday. We Weren’t Sure Which Of Our Three Kids Put It There Until My Wife Scrolled Through Her Pictures Today"
"In The Future When Someone Asks What It Was Like To Work From Home In 2020. I'll Just Show Them This Picture"
"Took Kids Parasailing And They Played Dead"
"My Friend’s Kid’s Diaper Report From Daycare *faints*"
"My Son Just Made A Huge Mess. This Is His Just Let Me Explain Face"
"Our Airbnb Had A Translucent Bathroom Door. I’m Used To My Impatient Toddler Stalking Me Through The Bathroom Door, But This Took It To A Much Creepier Level"
"Screw You And The Clothes You Bought Me"
"Ahh The Fresh Smell Of Vaporized Piss In The Morning"
"It’s Moments Like These That I Wish I Didn’t Go All “Balls Out” On Having Children. Here’s Penny, Showing Her Class “Something That Smells Good”"
"7-Year-Old Girls Really Know How To Hit You Where It Hurts"
"After 9 Months WFH, This Morning Was The First Time My Daughter Has Seen Me In A Suit. Did Not Approve"
"It Took Her Mom 20 Hours To Get That Out After Her Brother Poured A Container Of “Bunchems” In Her Hair"
"Found Out My Kid Had This On His School Classroom Wall All Year"
"Texts From The Babysitter Never Surprise Me Anymore"
"My Neighbor's Toddler Was A Little Too Quiet"
"My Toddler Found A White Ink Pad And Immediately Turned Into Saruman"
"It’s Always Nice Getting Pictures From Our Son’s Teacher Showing How He’s Excelling In School"
"I Woke Up To My Daughter Standing Over Me Like This. I've Never Been So Proud (Or Terrified)"
"My 5-Year-Old Son Stole My Wife’s Wallet The Other Day And Ran Off To His Room Quietly. Today She Got Pulled Over And This Was All She Had For ID"
"Our House Has 10 Rooms"
"It's The Small Things That Make Being A Parent So Rewarding"
"I Come Home From Work To My Purple Son, Painted By My Daughter"
"Apparently, The Kids Were Too Distracted To Shut The Door"
"She Wanted To Play With The Laptop"
"My 6 Year Old Got Tattoo Markers For Christmas And Disappeared For Half An Hour. Bonus: We Can't Get It To Come Off"
"All The Stuff My Son Has Put Down The Air Conditioning Vent In The Last 6 Years"
"I Sat On The Toilet, Closed The Door, And My 2-Year-Old Decided I Wasn't [Pooping] Myself Fast Enough"