"Apparently, showering and washing your hair are separate events."
"Apparently, cleaning the toilet on the regular is much, much more important than I'd previously thought."
"To get rid of bangs you don't just cut them off."
"Just how expensive and shoddy brands for women are."
"Pockets are very rare for women's pants. Several years married and still shocked by this."
"The places that their hair will turn up..."
"The hair that gets stuck in the shower drain. OMG."
"When long, loose head hairs wash off in the shower, it's common practice to stick them to the wall rather than let them collect in the drain. If she forgets to remove them afterward, it can be very confusing for the next person in the shower. Why are there a bunch of individual strands of hair deliberately stuck to the wall?"
"I have freaked out too many times at what I thought was a 52-legged spider clinging to my bathroom wall."
"I never realized that she'd start wearing my clothes. T-shirts, sweaters, not even my damn underwear is mine anymore!"
"Hair ties actually disappear faster than MIA socks. Until you find 20 in a kitchen drawer."
"NEVER EVER dry her clothes in a dryer."
"That she owns only one truly GOOD BRA. There is only one and part of your duty as a man is to protect the Good Bra. If you are doing laundry, you must take the greatest of precautions to make sure it is properly cleaned, dried, and stored. God forbid the Good Bra ever turns up missing or in the wrong drawer. Ladies, why is there only one GOOD BRA?"
"Period panties. I wasn't shocked or disgusted by it because I wasn't a 12-year-old; it was just like, 'Huh. Yeah, I guess I'd have a separate selection of underwear to use when I'm menstruating, too. Why the hell would I ruin all of my sexy underwear?'"
"Period [email protected]#ts."
"I always thought that pads operated like Band-aids and they'd just slap 'em over their vaginas and absorb everything. It wasn't until I was...27?...when my girlfriend at the time had some as a backup in case she ran out of tampons and I opened it and looked. The adhesive was on the wrong side for my version of how they worked, and it dawned on me that they're supposed to be stuck to their panties, not their skin. I only regret telling her of that revelation, because she laughed until she cried and then called her mom to tell her about it."
"Fancy makeup takes a long time."
"An innocent cleaning excursion in the right circumstances will lead to a full-on reorganization of all the dang furniture in the house, if you're not careful."
"That moisturizer goes on the body too."
"I’ve been doing laundry wrong my whole life."
"I’ve been doing the dishes wrong my entire life."
"The way I had been folding towels for years was apparently incorrect. I do the tri-fold method. My wife does the double-fold method. Oh well. First argument we had as a married couple and I lost."
"No matter how many bobby pins are in the house, there is always a need for more."
"What home feels like."