"How my family keeps our measuring tape"
“Why don’t we install a larger door and just make a dip in the floor?”
"If you think that 2 shower controls is boring, this bathroom is for you."
“My roommate left a surprise in the kitchen while I was outside.”
“I live with monsters.”
"Why? Just why?"
“’Live with a girl,’ they said. ’Things will be clean,’ they said...”
“The way my dad puts things away in the fridge — this is a piece of steak...”
“The way my roommate gives me rent.”
“My wife ate every single marshmallow in a family-sized box of Count Chocula. Every. Single. One.”
“How my boyfriend uses the bathroom hamper.”
“Cable management at our school.”
"What a marriage dealbreaker looks like."
“My mom always eats the chocolate and puts it back in the freezer like this...”
“The way my family leaves the toothpaste looks like an art project.”
"What a trillion-dollar company idea looks like"
“How my stepdad closes a box of cereal after eating edibles”
“My roommate’s festive potato managed to grow in his cupboard.”
“Isn’t it the best part of the Oreo?”
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