"The first restaurant/bar I worked in I was only serving but I frequently was in the section right next to the bar. One day I was busy serving a large group, but the restaurant was mostly empty and a guy behind me at the bar said “you wanna pet my parrot?”
My initial reaction was the same as if a stranger had just come up behind me and touched my shoulders but when I turned around… It really was a guy with a parrot on his shoulder. The parrot’s name was Bobby and yes both me and the bartender pet him."
"From a woman to her friend, “I don’t know about you but I just can’t poop in a pink bathroom.”
"I heard a guy talking to a woman about murdering her husband. I called the cops, but these patrons were gone before they showed up. This was before cameras, so I just gave my story and that was it.
Not long after, my uncle calls me saying the cops are looking for me. They interview me about the couple. Apparently, the guy was a hitman for hire and the woman was trying to get some insurance money. She got busted.
It was actually an episode of “Forensic Files” back when that was on TV. I remember watching the episode and they said something like “the couple was overheard discussing the murder in a bar.” I was kind of upset that they didn’t mention me. Lol."
"30 something girl telling a 50 something dude that she’ll blow him for a beer."
"A married couple in their fifties arguing how they were going to explain the fact they couldn’t pay the remainder of the 3 million euro bill for a Ferris wheel they’d ordered 18 months ago, already put a million deposit on, and who’s collection was due at 8am the following morning."
"Customer speaking to his friend: “Mate I can’t believe you couldn’t get it up for her. I mean I would have just f@#ked the b#tch soft and use a shoe horn or something.”
Me: “That’ll be £9.”"
"I was tending bar during an extremely busy happy hour. The place was mobbed and super noisy. Suddenly, a guy sitting at the bar stands up and announces “Ladies and gentlemen of the bar, I represent the Acme meat company and we carry a full line of high quality…”. The entire bar goes silent while he continues to do his sales pitch at full volume. For some reason he decided that this was a great time and place to hustle up some business.
My manager sprinted over to him and told him knock it off and that kind of thing wasn’t allowed in here. So he sat down and resumed drinking."
"A guy asked me to drug a girl’s drink for him…I told him I would do it, took the drugs from him, called the cops and gave the cops the drugs when they got there"
"Regular of mine who I hadn’t seen in a while was sitting at the bar when I came in for a shift change. I came in the back way and noticed he had crutches leaning against the bar.
Recently in the news someone hadn’t had their shotgun properly secured in their truck and it went off…So I jokingly say, “you’re that f@#king idiot who blew off his leg arent you?”
The whole bar gets quiet and everyone is mean mugging me. My regular starts laughing…
Yeah, it was him. I had no idea. I didn’t apologize, because as his favorite @$$hole bartender those comments were expected of me."
"I once had to ask a woman to remove her infant from the bar top. She put them on the floor… I really don’t miss bartending."
"Someone was boasting about his “Very small penis! VERY TINY! LIKE MICRO!” he proceeds to lower his pants and show it to his friend"
"Used to work in hell (an Applebees) and a man at the bar passed out due to his blood pressure meds mixing with booze. He cracked his head open on the way down and blood was just everywhere. So I’m calling 911, a hostess is trying to keep his wife calm, and a server is attending to the gentlemen (basically just applying pressure to his head, he was breathing).
As all this chaos is happening, a lady at a bar table starts yelling at me because they haven’t been greeted yet. She said “i know there’s a lot going on but that’s no reason to give us bad service” I had no words!! I walked away from her before I lost my job. You can’t fix that level of selfishness."
"Guy by himself: “Should I make it a double?”
SAME Guy by himself: “Yeah I think you should.”"
"I overheard a woman who worked in the ER explaining to her date about a time that she helped a couple who had been having sex, and his d@#k literally fractured inside her. It’s a real thing, and let me tell you that story was.. rough."
"Bartending at a strip club, I’d have guys ask me to get them girls every other night.
Like, here’s $200, which one of these dancers will f@#k me?
None. None, dude."
"Was sitting at a bar with a band. It was noisy and crowded. Some girl comes up next to where I was sitting and tells the bartender “excuse me, but I just saw that guy ( customer) right there put something in that girl’s drink”. I didn’t see the guy she pointed to. Bartender turns around and said something, I suspect a code word to somebody, and BAM. Immediately all the lights go on, the manager steps on stage, stops the band, and makes the following announcement:
“Attention: We have a report that someone in this room possibly drugged a young ladie’s drink. We request that all women here immediately put down your drink and don’t take another sip. We will replace your drink for free. If you are that young lady, we will notify you when you come to the bar. If anyone is feeling sick or weak please let us know.”
Wow. Lights stayed on. Band remained off. For a long time, maybe an hour. Cheers from the crowd and nobody complained. Don’t know what the guy did because I didn’t know which guy it was.
That place rocks."
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