“Guess I’ll order out tonight.”
“The drive-up ATM decided to crash right when I put my debit card in, preventing me from retrieving it. I was pretty late to work.”
“Ordered my kid a 6-piece nugget meal, and this is what he got in his nugget box.”
“Phone slipped out of my pocket while go-karting and became wedged under the kart. This is what I found at the end of the lap.”
“No caramel for my ice cream, I guess.”
“A 5-year-old opened the Perler beads upside down.”
“Ran over a shuriken today on my way home from the store. Those darn ninjas!”
“The TSA just held us up and we missed our flight by 2 minutes to serve as medical professionals abroad. Here are my parents having a very bad day.”
“Someone was kind enough to help rearrange the books in my little library last night.”
“Friend bought a new $500 speaker today and tripped on the stairs 4 stories up while carrying it above his head.”
“Just sold my old pc. After sending it across the country, I realized my wireless mouse’s USB was still plugged in it.”
“I found out someone cut through the convertible top of my unlocked car, then it rained inside.”
“My shoe decided to fall apart before my wedding.”
“A friend of mine hid my AirPods in a box of chicken nuggets that I proceeded to microwave without opening the box.”
“Right after finishing our fence, someone plowed through it going 80 mph.”
’’This is how my morning started.’’
’’Never thought it would happen to me. On a 6 hour flight, it touched me 3 times.’’
’’I have many, many questions.’’
’’I parked my Jeep incorrectly.’’
’’The entire dropped ceiling just collapsed in my basement.’’
’’My girlfriend’s graduation is canceled, so she’s picking up her degree from the student desk.’’
’’I got assigned this locker. Guess I don’t have a locker this year.’’
’’Someone cut the cake that was for me today at work without telling anyone in the break room.’’
’’My trip to Mount Rushmore last year’’
’’We finally got some rain out here in California. And then this happened.’’
’’I think I’m going to need a bigger bucket.’’
’’I made cake toppers for my wedding and forgot to check the oven’s temperature before putting my fiancée in.’’
“I guess today I won’t be wearing my eyeshadow.”
“My sister asked for a Nintendo Switch for Christmas. Her boyfriend must have misunderstood.”
“This woman on my flight put her seat back and sat like this the entire time.”
“As a 6’6” socially awkward 18-year-old guy, I am finally in a girl’s profile picture. This is the entire picture."
“Ordered 2 shirts online, received 40 pounds of security tags and a coupon.”
“So I walked into the kitchen at 5:30 a.m. and saw this in the sink. This is not my cat.”
“Sat down to pee. Looked up and saw this looking back.”
“I let my cousin cut my hair. Turns out I’m a Belcher.”
“My sister wanted a miniature version of her wedding cake for their anniversary... The picture of the wedding cake vs the ‘replica’ made by the bakery.”
“My Pitbull (Judge Judy) right when she got busted...”
“A squirrel stole some poor kids lunch.”
“I dropped my frozen pizza and the cheese and pepperoni separated from the crust.”
“My kid left a note for me in the fridge.”
“Well, well, well....if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions!”
“I moved out to a farm to get some privacy...”
“Coming back to my desk, wondering where my pistachios went, nearly had a heart attack.”
“They ‘moved’ my bike to work on the street light.”
“The reason my assignments are always late.”
“On a train from Leicester to Birmingham and someone has just opened a Tupperware full of prawns before 10 a.m.”
“My 3 year old lost my wedding ring a good few months ago now and couldn’t remember where she put it....”
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Oh ... YOU again !
Yes, but the door would not close.