’’She was chilling here for over an hour.’’
’’Our kid’s toilet is always clogged. We just discovered why.’’
’’My 4-year-old daughter likes to sneak butter while I’m sleeping. This is a soap bar.’’
’’My dad got each of us a calendar with just pictures of him.’’
’’This was my Christmas gift to everyone in my family.’’
’’We’re having a bridal shower at my house. This is where I found my dad.’’
’’My 9-year-old left a really scary surprise for my wife.’’
’’My 4-year-old wanted to ’cook dinner.’ She nearly burned the house down in the process.’’
’’He was told to go into the car, and this is what he did.’’
’’While my mother was cleaning our attic’’
’’Came home and found this. I love my mom.’’
’’Despite his canceled vacation, my dad couldn’t resist blowing his gift up.’’
’’My 3-year-old took a bite out of the toilet paper roll.’’
’’I found my dad recording a YouTube video on his phone playing from his iPad.’’
’’So my aunt bought me an ’Easter bunny.’"
’’My brother and my new photo pose.’’
“I told my wife I wanted an entire pecan pie for myself. This is what she brought home from the store... Well played, sweetheart.”
“I mailed my sister one square of toilet paper and it was delivered.”
“I want a divorce.”
“I love my mom so I baked her a cake for her birthday, which is also Christmas Eve. It turned out...beautiful?”
“My sister promised to water my garden while I was away for 3 weeks.”
“The first photo is just before I left, and the second photo is what I returned home to.”
“Throwing a football at a TV — what could go wrong?”
“My daughter turns 1 next week. She learned to play hide and seek today.”
“Every year with my brother, we buy a surprise gift for each other. This year was awesome. Laughed for 10 minutes straight.”
“Saw these little chocolate bars laying on the table and decided to take a bite.”
“Turns out my brother painted solid clay brown at school today to prank me. Needless to say, he got me.”
“My 4-year-old put cupcakes in my dress shoes. Are they ruined?”
“My mom is using her laptop in the RAIN on the BEACH.”
“We decided a dolly was the best way to move the pennies my dad has collected since 1989 in an antique glass water jug. We were wrong.”
“Today, I found out that my 85-year-old grandma puts these little people in seashells and then hides them on the beach for kids to find.”
“’Salisbury steak’ cake made by my sister-in-law”
"Here’s what I know: chocolate brownie cake with caramel sauce and rice krispy treats coated in cocoa and topped with caramel sauce for the “steak” and such. Green M&M’s and chopped orange Starbursts for “peas and carrots” and vanilla frosting for “mashed potatoes” with Starburst “butter” cubes."
“Weird Christmas tradition: parents buy me these bird pens every year without fail. Here’s my collection after about 10 years.”
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Where does it say they gave one a year?