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I'd never want it but I do find it funny
#29
That just a "Cyprus knee" lamp, they are a normal part of the way swamp cyprus trees grow.
#35
What's wrong with Oscar the grouch?
Well, he is a grouch.
Obviously. What other kind did you expect a turtle to have? A giraffe neck?
Actually, that would look cool too...
Where can I find one of those? I've been looking* since Chernobyl in 1986.
* - but not very hard, admittedly