“Wasps made a nest on my wasp spray bottle.”
“I thought I was stupid because I couldn’t figure out which one started with R.”
“Parking is free after 5 p.m. I paid until 5 p.m. Got a ticket at 5 p.m.”
“Went to a concert. This was my view for 3.5 hours.”
“Asked for ’no cheese, no mayo’ on my burger. It had cheese on it. I got a replacement and it has cheese on it.”
“People touching and LEANING ON a $1.5 million car like it’s theirs.”
“Got some Bojangles this morning and took a bite out of my Cajun filet and it’s just straight-up raw.”
“Write this in English. No, not like that. In French, no points for you.”
“The headphone jack snapped off because I tried to kill a mosquito and forgot I was wearing the headphones.”
“I’m no longer in the mood to eat!”
“Was going to dip my cookies in milk but opened the package and saw this.”
“’I know you’re not feeling well, let me move your car for you.’ The next morning:”
“Plugged a new mixer in. Accidentally turned it on and decided to mix my middle finger! Can’t bend the mixer back.”
“Time to go to bed! Um...what are those dots on my wall? Oh. Oh NO.”
“Rushing to take dinner out of the oven, was so excited, lost my grip. RIP, eggplant parm.”
“My frozen burrito seemed a bit thin, so I thawed and unwrapped it.”
“My wife bought this toilet paper holder, and yet...”
“My wife eats apples from the bottom...including the core.”
• Don't insult other visitors. Offensive comments will be deleted without warning.
• Comments are accepted in English only.
• No swearing words in comments, otherwise such comments will be censored.
• Your nickname and avatar are randomly selected. If you don't post comments for 7 days, they both are reset.
• To choose another avatar, click the ‘Random avatar’ link.
Someone needs to learn the definition of irony. Like #20. I get that it annoys you, but there is no irony there. Same with #10. Tough luck, but irony? No.
The seeds don't get crushed and put into the cider when it's made.
With a little online searching one can see that it takes between 150 and several thousand seeds to do the trick. Additionally, the seeds would need to be well-chewed. Whole seeds would pass through you mostly unchanged.