’’Birthday chili is gone.’’
’’My new dress broke on my way home from the work Christmas party.’’
’’Found a chunk of some bone-like thing in my bag of store-bought popcorn.’’
’’What I discovered between my ice cream and cone’’
’’I have to untangle this at work.’’
’’My tea collection before and after my mom makes 1 cup’’
’’My brain malfunctioned while preparing scrambled eggs.’’
’’My brother tried to dye his brand new Nikes in coffee and forgot about them for a month.’’
’’The door I had to get through last night to get to my room’’
’’I didn’t expect much, but this just reached an entirely new level.’’
’’No wonder my projects haven’t been coming out the right size.’’
’’I went to take my classic car for a spin. Discovered the interior is completely covered in mold.’’
’’I made a cake for my brother’s birthday and my 6-year-old sister scraped all the tops off with her finger and ate it.’’
’’Sole of my shoe came off when I got to work with no warning.’’
’’Ate half a head of broccoli only to discover it was full of bugs.’’
’’Meanwhile in Sweden...’’
’’I married someone who does this.’’
’’I started shaving my hair when my razor died, right before I was supposed to go have dinner with my girlfriend’s family.’’
’’I was having lunch when this duck came and drank my juice.’’
’’I just ate a receipt.’’
’’I asked my husband to do a maternity photoshoot. Don’t the dogs look great?’’
’’It fell off when I was walking to school.’’
’’First, her hair is right in my face. Secondly, where is my plane going?’’
’’He was so casual we almost didn’t notice him next to our table.’’
’’I got an empty mozzarella stick.’’
’’Just finished this 1000-piece puzzle to discover that the last piece is wrong.’’
’’My quarter fell out of my pocket into the vent but got caught, so now it’s taunting me.’’
’’My online order: 2 different colors, 2 different sizes, and both left shoes. Lovely.’’
’’Guess I’m not getting in my car.’’
’’Did I do something wrong?’’
‘Damn this paint was $58 dollars a gallon.”
“Puppy found the AirPods. He’s lucky he’s pretty.”
“Someone smeared shit on my car.”
“Spent hours painting pottery and it breaks in the kiln.”
“Atm shut down with my card still inside..”
“Bought a cheeseburger from Applebee’s… Guess I forgot to ask for the paper off.”
“This was a 7ft tall mirror a few mins ago.”
“My cats were playing rough and one of the dumbasses ran head first into my TV.”
“I was so excited to try this new yogurt.”
“Left our totally normal house to run errands. Came back an hour and a half later to this.”
“Just got done working out at the gym and my bike is gone. Spent $1.5k+ in parts just to restore this 2011 model. Specialized Sectuer Cane Creek. You will be missed.”
“Just pulled into our campsite 450 miles away from home.”
“Can you spot what I bit into and chipped my tooth?”
• Don't insult other visitors. Offensive comments will be deleted without warning.
• Comments are accepted in English only.
• No swearing words in comments, otherwise such comments will be censored.
• Your nickname and avatar are randomly selected. If you don't post comments for 7 days, they both are reset.
• To choose another avatar, click the ‘Random avatar’ link.
That's the point where you just break out the torch and melt them down for scrap...
but but the untangling is the best part.
I've done that before for my wife, I got 2 safety pins and slowly worked at them and de-tangled the whole mess.
Some ATMs take the whole card into the machine while it processes the transaction and doesn't return it to you until it's complete. It's not set up like the Point of Sale systems at the grocery store or gas station.
I call BS on that one too
that's more probable than the _first_ one being wrong.
#27 Lower a string with a drop of super glue, and it will taunt you no more.
#30 Preheat the oven. If you put it in a cold the bread will have time to sag while it heats up.