“The reason you are supposed to open your life vest outside the aircraft in case of an emergency ditching is so that you don’t float upwards while still inside the plane. This will trap you and increase your risk of drowning. Always open them outside or immediately before you leave the aircraft, should you need to evacuate on water.”
“The reason that you need to put your hand luggage under the seat in front of you and not behind your legs is to make sure you can get to your life jacket.”
“We are there for your safety first, your drinks second.”
“Flight attendant here. I think everyone should know or at least keep in mind that airline travel is difficult. Please remember your fellow passengers are traveling for various reasons. Hopefully it’s vacation but very frequently I run into people going to funerals, going to get medical treatments and commuting to work away from their families.
Everyone has a different story and many of us are having a rough day. onboard we all have the same goal. Get there quickly and safely. Including the staff. Have patience with each other and us.”
“Both pilots are equally qualified…the captain just has more responsibility and more experience (usually). We trade off who is flying and who is monitoring the radios every other flight (sometimes every two flights).
here is very little we can actually do to “make up time”. The longer the flight, the more we can do, but still, we re talking 5-10 minutes, not an hour.”
“We fly with broken sh#t on the airplane all the time. We have a list that tells us what can be broken and still be able to fly safely and legally. As a pilot, I don’t know where baggage claim is, I don’t know where your next flight is, I don’t know where the Starbucks is, and often I don’t know why the flight is delayed. I also don’t know what lake we are flying over.”
“Interfering with the air crew is a felony. If you have grievances you can address them with the airline after you disembark.”
“No one is physically capable of opening the cabin door while in flight because of the aircraft pressurization. So take comfort in knowing that if a crazy person gets up and starts frantically trying to open the door in the middle of a flight, they’re not going to be able to do it at all. You could sit in your seat and watch them work on it for hours and it still won’t happen.”
“Every aspect of the industry is highly regulated, from aircraft maintenance, to air traffic control, to crew duty restrictions, and more. Please be patient with delays especially around holidays and storms. It is an extremely delicate juggle with all of these challenges to avoid any delays.”
“If you don’t want to be delayed, take the earliest flight. There’s a bit of a “reset” overnight each night to start with a clean slate but late in the day, the chances are your plane has done multiple flights already. If any of those are delayed, yours is likely to delay too.”
“Alcohol has a greater affect on people in higher altitude so know your limits and don’t push them. Even if you have had a drink in the airport it can still effect you during the flight. If you are drunk and behaving like a prick it will not be tolerated and you can be arrested and get a ban from the airline.”
“Your tastebuds are reduced by 30-60% on flights. So more salt and seasoning are added to the food so it doesn’t seem bland. Might also be the reason so many crave tomato juice or bloody mary mix ONLY on planes.”
“Do not wear a buttplug during your flight. I’ve seen some unfortunate things happen due to that.”
“There are no parachutes on commercial flights, so please stop asking. If the plane is going down there is nothing you can do but pray and ask forgiveness for your sins.”
“Ladies, take your batteries out of your vibrators when you’re packing. It’s not going on the plane if it’s dancing all over the baggage conveyor, and the bigger the airport the more difficult it’ll be to find you so you can go in and deactivate it.”
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