“I’ve been looking for my third shaker spiral ball for a couple of weeks now.”
“New cable lines installed, boss!”
“So my girlfriend tried to take a picture with her puppy when a bird slammed into the window.”
“Fiancée tried to make doughnuts but added too much butter. I introduce to you, the muffnut.”
“My friend dressed up as his mom & tried to get his phone back.”
“Tried my hand at sledding today.”
“Security tried to get this cat out of my local supermarket. Failed.”
“My friend wanted to take a nice picture of her daughter.”
“I’m literally in a bathroom stall at work right now covered in clown paint. I just tried wiping it off and it’s not coming off.”
“Candy lips, Expectation vs Reality”
“Never ask your hairdresser for ’something different.’”
“Nailed it. I tried doing ombre nails for the first time.”
“Grew my hair out for 4 years. It was at the healthiest it had been in my entire adult life. This is what I asked for vs what I got.”
“My buddies’ dog really got that good haircut.”
“Downside: having this on the back of my head. Upside: everyone found it hilarious.”
“Wanted a simple manicure for my wedding in March. Here is what I got. I was upset but also couldn’t stop laughing.”
“Today I celebrate the 2-year anniversary of breaking off my front tooth. By breaking off the other one on a piece of bacon.”
“Those 2 dots are the cream.”
“This toiletry trash can that opens into the other stall.”
“My girlfriend thought she found the perfect winter coat until she put the hood up.”
“You’d better not drop your card while you’re withdrawing cash.”
“The bottom of the dice bag I got isn’t even sewn in, so all the dice get mixed up.”
“Just some casual kiwi eating another kiwi.”
“When airlines want to give you lollipops.”
“I moved while a panoramic photo was being taken, and ended up looking like a Picasso painting.”
“I let my cousin cut my hair. Turns out I’m a Beltcher.”
“I tried to grow my own pineapple, but unfortunately my dad skill isn’t high enough yet.”
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Girl cooties?
Dandruff.