"Found my car like this when I took a break at work."
"My husband made the perfect nachos"
"Finally have time to go to the beach and..."
"Just bought this underwater protective case in Thailand and went swimming with it."
"How my new license plate was delivered by FedEx. 1 day late."
"I forgot to add something important to my morning coffee"
"1st attempt at smoking a brisket - Happy Mother's Day!"
"Today I learned that a coffee pot can explode."
"Passed by this squirrel eating someone’s pizza"
"Someone hit my car and painted it with house paint."
"My mom forgot to roll up her passenger window in the car wash"
"I’ve dropped a lot of plates in my 43 years on earth. But I’ve never seen one get obliterated so absolutely."
"My salt crusher broke over my food"
"My kid got a box of onions instead of nuggets in his happy meal"
"Where my sunglasses have been hiding for 2 weeks."
"I guess I will eat dirty sink pasta"
"Was standing in the grocery store when the ceiling tile above me fell, hit me in the head, followed by a few gallons of dirty water. I was completely soaked and employees didn't do anything."
"Grabbed the wrong one and now all of my chocolate chip cookies taste weird."
"My cat decided to share her lunch with me via my headphones"
"My wife was in shock when she received this $9 sandwich this afternoon…"
"Eating while driving and spilled barbecue sauce in the worst place possible"
"I just spilled a full cup of orange juice all over myself on the last day of vacation. I didn’t bring an extra pair of pants."
"Checking my jar of Jif as I’m reading about the recall…"
"Love biting into my mostly hollow doughnut."
"Well I'm 2 hours into my shift and noticed I put on two different shoes this morning."
"I was looking forward to moving to the empty window seat"
"This bastard was sitting on my hanging bath towel and stung me in the belly when I went to dry off after my shower."
"Had a decent day drinking and fishing"
"Robot pushed past me and gave me this sh#t eating grin as it closed the elevator door without me"
"When you’re rough day includes breaking a toilet seat with your @$$"
"The chocolates stayed in the back of the car for an entire day."
"Nothing like dropping all your sockets in the street"
"Went out for the night and forgot my drawer open, cats found the stash, entire room’s now glittered in catnip"
"Say hello to Anthony, the ant behind my TV screen."
“I’m being over charged by insurance after my daughter was born. This is the pile of mail I have to go through to prove they’re ripping me off. Pear for scale.”
“My boss’s secretary quit this morning after delivering breakfast.”
“Someone managed to lose their new box of… lost-item trackers.”
“Yesterday our neighbor’s 80′ locust tree gave us some live edge sky lights, a great view of the stars, and that Rainforest Cafe atmosphere that our living room had just always been missing. No injuries, dogs pissed the bed, life goes on..”
“My dad does the lottery every week, this is 4-5 months of losing tickets.”
“For a month, I thought I lost my wedding ring on a cross country road trip. I called gas stations, pawn shops, searched lost and found post. Finally, I gave up ever seeing it again when we realized it was under my husbands deodorant!!”
“$400 window replacement to steal a pair of $20 headphones I found at goodwill…”
“I’m starting to think this view isn’t worth golfers aiming directly at our homes.”
“Boyfriend decided to try out a new hairdresser.”
“This is my view from the bathroom floor, looking at the hole in the ceiling I just fell through.”
“Sold my iPad in public space at night in Minnesotan -10F temperature, turned out it’s fake.”
“Is it funnier knowing that these are antidepressants?”
“I’m a solar roofer, and we are required to wear gloves while we work…..it’s only may.”
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That's a Yorkie, most of them are in the witness protection program.
#30 And then you hung the towel up again and put the scorpion back on to take a photo? Smells like bulls**t in here....
#45 Thats why its called "tax for morons" in my country