“My parents always said they love their kids equally, but it is hard to believe when I come home for Christmas to this.”
“’It’s just like a sink,’ they said. $30 later and my cat is still doing this.”
“Drove my bike home for 20 minutes in 20°F weather.”
“I went through a serious surgery one day before my friends’ wedding.”
“This is what I woke up to at the hospital one hour before they said ’I do’ to each other.”
“My customer got her phone wet. Her solution? She puts it in the microwave to dry it off.”
“I give to you the Lancetfish I found floating 150 nautical miles off the coast.”
“My dad’s solution when a control knob broke off in my car.”
“This is how my gf cuts a pineapple.”
“A twin inside”
“My girlfriend’s brother is 15. This is his drawer in the bathroom.”
“It’s so cold at work that the toilet water froze today.”
“The bathroom door says ’men’ from the outside, but from the inside says ’women’ spelled backward, so you think you are in the wrong bathroom.”
“My dad is a bachelor and this is how he keeps his toilet paper.”
“Extreme makeover: network edition”
“Dear Father, I have sinned.”
“This is how my girlfriend studies.”
“Took my girlfriend on her first roller coaster ever. I think it was a success. She’s 23.”
“My girlfriend has loved Cinderella since she was a little girl. I took her to the castle in Disney World and gave her this.”
“My cousin’s neat tan.”
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