Brianna James and her husband of 10 years have four children — all under the age of 8.
And Brianna has been catching the attention of millions of people on TikTok by sharing videos of how messy her house gets having kids, in addition to time lapses of her and her husband cleaning up the messes.
In her most viral video — which has nearly 18 million views — she says, "I know I'm going to get roasted. I know it, but this is what happens when two really lazy adults have four kids and don't clean up after themselves because, yeah, it's a mess."
"Four days, guys. I've not done dishes or picked things up for four days and this is what my house looks like."
"It is not dirty — it is simply messy. OK? And, so, that's what I'm gonna do today," she says insinuating that she's about to clean it all up.
Brianna said she decided to share her messy house videos with the world simply to hold herself accountable. "The biggest drive was for me to have the accountability. I am messy. My husband is messy. We know that. And for years we faked being clean and tidy all the time and I was tired of it. I felt like I couldn't be my real self by pretending," she said.
"So I would post a real, daily messy house video with six people and four pets in the home, then go on cleaning it because I know it needed to be done but, by filming it, I couldn't quit halfway without showing the end result."
If you're a parent, you already know that means you're constantly cleaning. "Every day I do the basics, and then each day I try to tackle a project. My husband does what he can, but he's active duty military and his schedule is odd so he can only do so much. But what he does do I'm very grateful for," she said.
Brianna hopes her videos show people that it's OK and normal to have a lived-in house. "We see so many Pinterest and Instagram-worthy homes that don't show a speck of dirt, but to me they don't seem real. They could be, but it's not real to me," she said.
"I know I will never have a home like that while my kids are this young. Even if I cleaned 24/7, it's an unachievable goal. So I wanted to show other moms and dads or anyone really that it's OK to be messy. It's normal. And as long as I do better than I did yesterday, I'm happy with that progression."
On the other hand, people have had negative opinions about how Brianna lives. But, she says that unless they are going to help her clean it by paying for a housekeeper, they can keep their mouths shut. "They don't know what my life is like. They don't know me — only what I'm willing to share. I don't say this to be mean but to be honest. Tearing down others may feel good in the moment but it's not going to help solve any lasting issues or problems. And, in all honesty, it pushes me to keep going because I know they can't knock me down all the way."
Organizing is what Brianna struggles with the most, but she has been working toward improving that. "I have recently changed my mindset about my home. Instead of working for my home, I'm making my home work for me."
"I feel like in society there is this constant expectation of everyone and if you don't meet that you are automatically judged and seen as less than. I got tired of thinking that way. So what. I'm going to do what I can to make the best life for my family. I much rather spend my time with my kids and husband than be cleaning 24/7. So if it sits for a day or two, then I don't care. Memories are more important," Brianna concluded.
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If you would start sharing your stuff on tiktok it could be also messy. But some people have better priorities others share for atention.
Man, same here. Not three but two kids. Its is hard raising children as a single. One thing: They are not living in a dumpster. I make sure of that.
Same here. Single father 3 kids. Throw in two dogs and two cats left behind by my ex wife. My house isn't spotless but it certainly doesn't look anything like that.
Well, it's fine if you do this if you don't have kids. But you can't raise children in an environment like this.