“This is my grandpa’s cat. He doesn’t bite, scratch, or hiss, he judges.”
— “Hey, does your dog bite?”
— “Oh, no, he throws bricks!”
“My uncle’s prom picture from the ’90s is one of the funniest photos I’ve ever seen.”
“My wife caught our dog mid-stretch.”
“My best friend’s grandma (83 years old) made herself a profile on Facebook today. This is her profile picture.”
“He loves watching through the window at our neighborhood. This is every morning.”
“My grandma has Andrew Jackson hair.”
“I requested cake thrice today, human, and here you are, and here’s the cake, and yet I have not received any of it!”
“My wife went to a pirate-themed event but didn’t want to be a pirate like everyone else. So she went as a cannon.”
“The pavement was too hot, so Mom had to carry her. That look on the pup’s face!”
“I told him to stay inside and I turn around and see him like this.”
“My mother-in-law bought these to embarrass me. It didn’t work.”
“Princess Leia and R2D2 (my grandpa’s costume)”
“The cat’s out of the bag.”
“The teeniest socks for the teeniest feet”
“I was determined not to lose my earrings last night.”
“I was looking at makeup with my friends and couldn’t stop laughing.”
“My dad and I at Disney World.”
“Wherever he’s going, I’m coming with him.”
“Girlfriend’s brother snapped my new favorite picture of me last night.”
“Too tired to sit properly I guess...”
“My coffee went from concerned to terrified after my first sip this morning.”
“My wife has always said I look miserable on rollercoasters. After a recent visit to Orlando, turns out she’s right.”
#3 Just where is her right hand?