“My girlfriend’s MRI. I’m dating an evil.”
“I bet it still works.”
“Girlfriend got me camo toilet paper, and I’m at a loss.”
“A coworker went to grab a jammed piece of paper in the printer. He ended up getting this.”
“For anyone that’s ever complained about there cat bothering them on the toilet.”
“Mom ‘accidentally’ broke my dad’s nightlight. He responded appropriately.”
“I accidentally caught the bouquet at my sister’s wedding. I turned as she threw it and it landed in my hand. I’m a man.”
“My ice cream came without the cone.”
“I found this huge beetle laying on his back in the driveway today.”
“Friend of mine put their toilet out by the road about a month ago. It reappeared yesterday with a message for them.”
"Road workers played a game of tic-tac-toe here."
“I found this strange message on a banana yesterday.”
“There’s about 4-5 of these concrete shoes scattered around my town. Nobody knows who made them or why.”
"This piece of cheese looks like marble."
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It's "their" dumb@$$.
Before anyone says this has to be photoshop, I was cutting some branches and one had an almost perfect maple leaf shape in it (no it wasn't a maple tree). Cut a bunch of slices, polished them up and gave them away as Christmas ornaments that year.
Because you're not screaming for attention with saying things like this every day...
Thank you. I'd upvote you about 40 times if I could.