“Some of the tables on swedish trains have a line in the middle of it, making it look like you could split it. But you can’t! My seat neighbour spillde my coffee all over me because of this.”
"All caps or no caps, c’mon son."
“The ad for this apron. Just don’t bend over I guess!!!”
“From the hotel that brought you “bloodstained curtains” we now bring you “poop stained headboard””
"Why use two symbols when you can just use two colours?"
“All the apartment numbers in this building are behind the lights”
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while odd, if in a dry house, this would help