“Asked my partner’s mom not to take the lid off the rice I just cooked while I quickly ran to the shop. When I got back, she said the rice was ‘burnt,’ so she put hot water in it.”
“I think my boiled egg has an egg in it!”
“Ordered a jr. bacon cheeseburger without tomato. Got only tomato.”
“This one completely black Corn Chex in my cereal this morning.”
“Bought 2 pizzas, and one came with the toppings directly on the cardboard with a naked crust under it.”
“McDonald’s somehow forgot the bottom bun.”
“Three yolks inside an egg I cracked this morning. Apparently, it’s a one in 25 million chance.”
“Anyone down for some raw chicken salmonella cake?”
"The perfect breakfast to start the day."
“Saw this guy’s loaded shake outside of a Coney Waffle and had to ask him for a pic.”
"This way children eat more fruits and vegetables."
“One of the Coke cans in the crate I just bought has an inverted top.”
“My dough turned into a monster.”
“My yogurt is the exact same color as my bowl.”
"This KitKat without the best part, the filling."
"When it is not watermelon season."
“No matter how I try to pick this up its going to spill.”
"When you wait 30 minutes for the delivery person to arrive so the pizza will arrive like this."
“A place here in town sells this, appropriately named, ’Dragon Scale’ pizza.”
“Forgot about a can of wolf brand chili in the back of the fridge, and the mold growing looks like wolf hair.”
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Or hold a bowl at the edge of the table and slide the can across, into the bowl.
It's on the floor