“On a scale of 1 to ’almost brushed your teeth with a razor,’ how tired were you this morning?”
“I think my husband was tired this morning because that is dog food and not coffee beans.”
“This was posted at the 4-way stop in my town.”
“I came across this guy at Costco. Looks exhausted.”
“My kid’s stress toy made from a balloon and flour did not reduce stress.”
“Someone was hammered on the job.”
“Weddings are exhausting! Here’s a pic of my brother’s wife after everyone left the reception.”
“They couldn’t even put the jalapeño in correctly.”
“I stayed up late last night studying. Woke up so tired I wore 2 different shoes.”
“Refilled the hand sanitizer, boss.”
“This McDonald’s restaurant in the town where I’m staying only has 1 arch.”
“My sister’s puppy was so tired, she just fell asleep in her shoe.”
“I guess I’ll ride my bike upside down.”
“He wants to get on the bus. The bus on the TV.”
“My coworker fell at work today and then just gave up.”
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Wouldn't the balloon be heroin?