“Neighbor cut my internet line.”
“The cabinets in my kitchen randomly decided to fall off the wall, shattering all of the dishes inside.”
“Parked in the same spot for 2yrs and this never happened, until today.”
“Nothing quite like peeling off the plastic on your brand new TV.”
“We ordered a wedding cake. This is what we got.”
“Filled my son’s bottle with beef broth instead of almond milk.”
“You know you’re having a bad day when the spare toilet paper rolls out.”
“I think my husband was tired this morning because that is dog food and not coffee beans.”
“The driver thought it was appropriate to tape my package to the wall.”
“My sons accidentally lost their football over the neighbor’s fence yesterday. This is how it was found back in our yard today.”
“My ’swim-proof’ smartwatch died after I washed my hands while wearing it.”
“I told my roommate it was his turn to buy toilet paper and he bought 2 rolls of the thinnest one.”
“I ordered wrapping paper online, but there was a mistake and now I have a massive poster of my face. I’m not even mad.”
“Well, something went wrong.”
“I like to read my wife’s tampons when I’m having a bad day. They always seem to cheer me up.”
“I got up and went to work this morning. At 2 p.m. I had a meeting and then I noticed something was wrong.”
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Was it a United Meat Packers conference?
#33
Well, how did it taste?
Not juice.
Squeezin's.
As in, "Almond Squeezin's", and "Soy Squeezin's".
Like that.
"Chocolate milk"
"Orange milk"
"Banana milk"
all contain actual milk. so adding milk to the name is ok.
The cable company doesn’t run conduit for coax.
makes him a real man Ron Swanson would aprove.
#41 If I had metal snot hanging out of my nostrils, I sure wouldn't be happy.
Yeah because lactose intolerance doesn't exist in kids right? My newborn who projectile vomited any cow or human milk must have just made it up for attention.
That’s what breast milk is for!
Thats the problem
Next time less nitrogen better outcome