’’How does this even happen.’’
’’Even though I’m not the janitor, I was annoyed. Your tushy is not that special that you need a whole roll of toilet paper just to sit down.’’
’’My car, whenever it rains hard..’’
’’I’m so glad my power and internet lines could stop this tree from falling and hurting itself.’’
’’This was how my entire 4 hour flight went today. I am a 5’8″ female.’’
’’At a wedding, I found a good seat with a good view.’’
“Minutes before, this woman sat in front of me without caring that her fan blocked everyone’s view behind her.”
’’I have a rehearsal and a presentation to give today and didn’t pack my spares.’’
’’The medicine cabinet is above our stove and my wife dropped a bottle of cough medicine on it.’’
’’My dress shoe split during the middle of a band concert.’’
’’Not what you want to see right after finishing your meal.’’
’’The view from 30,000 feet! This seat was a $40 upcharge.’’
’’Used a little too much force in blowing out these candles.’’
’’We had our first snow last night. Apparently the tree decided to drop all its leaves on my car.’’
’’Like a bad friend: runs away when you need it most.’’
’’I was stirring pancake batter, and my whisk broke off and got rust in my batter.’’
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Not you, obviously. Now go away.
Well, technically...
nothing a Nilfisk can't fix
#22 Get a magnet
#35 You put those pieces together backward