"It’s as if SpongeBob SquarePants and a bedside table had a child."
"If the machines want to take power, let them at least work for us."
"He has a “you could have made it more comfortable” look on his face."
''When you get tired of your family using your phone charger."
"“And when he grows bigger, how will he get in?”. Well, one problem at a time..."
“Let’s see what I look like in the mirror...”
“My friend who knows mechanics does it for less money.”The friend:
"The guy calls this truck “The Mullet.”"
"When your best friend helps you move:"
"Nobody noticed, Optimus Prime."
“When you really want a boat with a tower, but your bank account says otherwise...”
“Wife wanted a flat desk. Couldn’t find long enough feet for it.. but I did find a welder.”
"We’re pretty sure someone fell..."
"And this, Miss, is my final paper on Niagara Falls..."
"There are no flaws in this logic."
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