’’Don’t let your child use your laptop.’’
’’My boyfriend decided to try out a new hairdresser.’’
’’This is what we got served for lunch today at school.’’
’’A badminton bat handle dissolving in my hand’’
’’There were tracks on my driveway. I live in a wooded community and go out to the bus alone at 6 AM.’’
’’$300 leather shoes, wore them for the first time today.’’
’’This $5 lunch wrap that is mostly tortilla’’
’’When you quickly open your envelope out of excitement’’
’’My biggest fear actually happened.’’
’’I’m a bank teller and I went to work like this today and didn’t notice until after lunch.’’
’’I came home and found my laptop completely wet because I left the window open.’’
’’So you thought the roofer’s hand tan was bad...’’
’’My orange was just skin inside.’’
“My Bed For Christmas (and the last 3.5 days stranded at airport)”
“Girlfriend is a supervisor at a lumberyard. Said she had to take away someone’s forklift license.”
“Someone parked across our driveway and we can’t get the car out on Christmas Eve.”
“Opened door to take out trash. Now I may have to move.”
“My friend got stuck looking for a ball in the rocks on the beach…”
“Walked downstairs to find this…”
“Asked for extra sauce”
“Bought a $44 handmade, ceramic mug. It cracks as I pour in my first cup of tea.”
“Walked out to my car this morning and it looked like this.”
“After being forced to work 6 days a week for the entire month, I was lucky enough to win the TV raffle”
“Weight gain on Christmas Eve can be a real problem. Especially right before the whole family comes.”
“Just drove an hour to have dinner with clients.”
“Pizza place defaults to no cheese, no sauce on Doordash. I didn’t check the boxes to add them.”
“Halfway from CA to TX my passenger side window of my tesla randomly shattered in sub freezing temperature.”
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(badabum)
I told him not to substitute black pepper with gun powder...but nooOOOooo!
Probably ex military.
Semen. The REAL 'Armor-all.'
#36 What's the problem? Mission accomplished!