“What is this thing? Found it in the cloakroom of an old country house.”
“It is a boot jack and is used to remove boots.”
Everything does, if one is brave enough.
So does Midge
#2 it is a pro-expert level @$$ ripper butt plug with a de-excrementer function.
That's my jock strap.
you don't have the b@lls for that
Well, that explains everything.
Razor blade sharpener