"A polka dot shirt is a striped shirt but instead of running horizontally or vertically they run in the third dimension."
"We are annoyed by how few calories we burn when having exercised but it is actually very impressive of our bodies that it uses up a very little amount of energy"
"Driving at highway speeds and only being a couple of feet away from an oncoming car in the other lane is weirdly normalized."
"Retirement isn’t an age, it’s a financial status."
"Teeth are the only problem that if you ignore them, they will go away."
"Master of Science sounds way more impressive than PhD"
"The first humans to discover the ocean must have been incredibly disappointed they couldn’t drink it"
"It’s frankly amazing more people don’t fall off chair lifts."
"We live in a world where most teenagers don’t know who the Spice Girls are."
"Social media is to social life what masturbation is to sex."
"Cowboys go yee haw, ninjas go hee yaw."
"It’s a weird part of human evolution that eating healthy vegetables is seen as a punishment and a sugary dessert is a reward"
"Job interview feels like a conversation between two liars , both of which knows the other is lying."
"Left on delivered is more sad than left on read"
"It must really suck for young wizards from Scotland to have to travel to London and then back to Hogwarts, located in Scotland"
"For an organ that evolved to keep us safe from danger, the brain really likes activities that are dangerous. (e.g. doing drugs, driving fast, etc."
"Mid to late twenties is a weird age where you can still pass as a teenager but you can feel your body is falling apart with each passing day."
"You don’t have any proof that other people can’t read your mind."
"People cover their laptop cameras for fear of hackers, but never their phone cameras."
"It isn’t knowing things that makes you smart. It’s how easily you learn new things and what you do with that information."
"People who wear pyjamas in public are often accused of giving up on life but maybe, in fact, they’re actually living their best lives."
"Growing overweight is, in part, due to having an efficient, survival-oriented metabolism."
"Plants can’t eat in the dark."
"Your pet is completely unaware of most of the animals that you know about. They don’t know what a penguin is."
"Millions of people still don’t know that the Sun is white and not yellow."
"Biweekly always needs clarification."
"The word for mother in almost all languages start with ‘m’ or ‘a’ because that’s the easiest for a baby to pronounce."