“The sign on the car says, ’Stop texting while driving.’”
“My friend woke up to this in Gros Morne National Park, Newfoundland, Canada.”
“I woke up to the sound of someone shouting, ’It’s Christmas, it’s Christmas!’ I look outside and see this.”
“I wonder which song was on.”
“I spotted this today at the Cleveland Museum of Natural History.”
“I don’t think my mom understands how her rice cooker works.”
“I thought I lost $350, and then 3 months later, I found it in my 4-year-old’s room.”
“I’ve heard of ’painting yourself into a corner’ but my wife took it a step further. I don’t even know.”
“It’s time to take a Spooky dookie.”
“My daughter told me we only had a little milk left in the fridge.”
“Spotted during the second inning of a game today.”
"A stranger on the metro"
"Woodpecker be like, “You took everything from me!”"
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#8... Does your mom drive an Audi??