"3am feels much more like the middle of the night than midnight."
"One unforeseen aspect of becoming a parent is that suddenly you are open to a whole new genre of nightmares that involve losing your kid."
"Based strictly on a photograph, human beings are able to firmly and conclusively decide whether or not they want to ingest another human’s bodily secretions"
"When you become angry with someone for being honest with you, they may begin to conceal the truth in order to avoid displeasing you."
"The majority of things boomers dislike about younger generations were created by boomers"
"The designers of intelligent bidets had to spend hundreds of hours building butthole tracking technology"
"Fire-breathing is not the only thing that makes dragons fantasy. They’re also way too heavily built to be able to fly."
"Many people can’t really throw with force and accuracy because it rarely is useful anymore."
"There’s enough men on earth to build a bridge of d#cks to the moon"
"Slippers and high heels are opposite ends of the comfort spectrum, yet they’re equally difficult to run in."
"In our lifespan we don’t even get to meet 1% of the human population"
"You’ll never see your own ears. You may see a picture or a reflection of them, but you’ll never see your actual ears."
"In Toy Story it must be pure agony to exist as an unassembled lego set"
"99% of what your body does it does itself, your body actually trusts you with very little"
"Our two most standard ice cream flavors are beans"
"Some history text books in the future will have screenshots of important tweets that happened during our life"
"As a kid, teenagers seemed so big and scary because in most TV shows they were actually played by adults in their 20s."
"It is actually pretty easy to come up with a sentence that never has been said before"
"Phone companies have managed to find a way to sell you basically the same product with slight modifications for a $1k every two years."
"Pressing the door lock button on your car’s key fob just once never seems to lock it enough."
"Most of us will have a kill ratio of 0:1"
"Stamps are stickers with a job"
"Garlic and Onion air fresheners are a terrible idea. But as soon as you start cooking it, everybody comments how amazing your house smells"
"Massive amounts of humanity will fight to the death for their country, but not for the planet"
"No Roman emperor ever tasted a tomato"
"Maybe UFOs are radioactive and that’s why the footage of them is always blurry."
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#4 The people who get angry like that are toxic, and you are always walking on eggshells around them. They also tend to get angry about trivial things.
#20 Pressing the clicker once only locks the driver’s door on my car. Twice locks everything.
#24 Humans are unable to save or destroy the planet. Environmentalists don’t understand their insignificance in the universe. The Earth will outlive humans by billions of years.
#17 most teenagers are fully grown? Certainly not. Many in their late teens may be fully grown, sure, but that is by no means "most teenagers".
#20 not on any car I ever owned. One click locks all.
#24 the planet will keep on existing for sure. An environment where humans and other species can survive and thrive on the other hand, that is what it is all about.
ask Vincent van Gogh
Right, also valid for many other parts of your face and your back
Victim culture. Cancel culture. Revisionist history. Campus communists. Group think. Safe spaces. 463 genders. To name a few.
I think none of those were created by boomers.