“There’s nothing worse than losing an earring the size of a fingernail.”
“My younger brother did me dirty.”
“A 4-year-old put cupcakes in my dress shoes.”
“Anyone else has a baby beaver? My solution to his crib biting!”
“This extra-value-sized soap bottle doesn’t let you reach the extra value.”
“Now I know that you should clean ice chunks off the top of your car, or you’ll end up like this.”
“My wedding tux pants ripped 45 minutes before the ceremony.”
“A repair man ’fixed’ the leaking problem and gave us the go-ahead to use the oven.”
“My car was parked at my in-laws’ for a few months, found this in the trunk.”
“My cat threw a perfume bottle on my toilet and broke the lid.”
“I pre-cooked a meal for 3 nights, let it cool, and then found these eggs before storing it.”
“I sobbed pretty loudly in the shower.”
"Does anyone know whose idea it was to use stickers on goods that will never come off?"
"A brand new tire got a brand new piercing."
“The steel cap fell out of my boot and I’m too broke for a new pair.”
“I just received my new swimsuit from an online store. No returns accepted.”
"As they say: a clean car will find dirt faster than a pig will find truffles."
“Found some mold inside my sealed can of mushrooms.”
“The burger I ordered (and couldn’t eat) from a highly rated dive joint”
“My tree at 7 p.m. vs my tree at 7 a.m.”
“I spilled my cable clips. There are 6 different sizes of each color.”
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You could also rub the top rail with hand sanitizer, the alcohol will evaporate pretty quickly but the bitter flavor (that they all have now) will remain. One bite of that and the kid won't chew anything again...
so you poison the kid with ethanol got it. i bet your dad even gave you a beer to deter you as a toddler. but that totally worked...
Actually if you could read (and understand) the alcohol evaporates (that's what it's called when a liquid dissipates into the air) so all that's left is the nontoxic bitterant. But I'm sure you were just allowed to chew on the lead paint covered woodwork...
#36 You've been broke for a very long time it seems.
#37 You ordered from a place that a zero returns policy, you stupid?
Those are woefully out of style. The kid did you a favor.