"I’ve always been fond of the exchange between John Montagu and John Wilkes, both British politicians in the 18th century (Montagu was also the 4th Earl of Sandwich, the namesake and possibly inventor of the sandwich).
During one of their many verbal battles, Montagu reportedly spat at Wilkes and said, “Upon my soul, Wilkes, I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox.”
Wilkes replied, “That depends, my lord, on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.”"
"This french guy named Favras was being sentenced to death and his last words were “you have made three grammatical errors” when they read his death sentence."
"The fact that the founder of Lamborghini made Lamborghini because his Ferrari broke down and the company screwed him out of a warranty."
"Diogenes the cynic was a very extreme philosopher who didn’t believe in ANY amount of earthly possessions. Literally the only thing he owned was a tattered robe to cover himself and he lived in a discarded barrel in the middle of the city square.
One day he was just chilling, sunbathing in his barrel when Alexander the Great, the most powerful person in the entire world, came to visit him, he was like “Diogenes, I’ve heard such great things about you and your philosophy, if there’s anything at all you want me to do for you, just tell me.”
And this absolute mad lad replies “move two paces left, you’re blocking the sunlight” in that same exchange, Alexander tells him “if I weren’t Alexander the Great, I would want to be Diogenes” and Diogenes replies “If I weren’t Diogenes, I would want to be Diogenes as well” what an absolute unit."
"Winston Churchill and a woman had a conversation:
Woman: Mr Churchill you are drunk!
Winston: And you my dear are ugly, but tomorrow I shall be sober"
"Cromwell was so hated that after he was dead and buried, they exhumed his corpse so that they could execute him. He was drawn and quartered with his head piked on London Bridge two and a half years after he died."
"I think it’s Sir Sidney Smith who had just been captured by Napoleon, writing a message for him on the wall of his cell that read something amongst the lines of “I’m not angry, because I am at the bottom now, and you are at the top, but when the wheel of fortune is spun, you will begin to fall, and I shall rise higher than I’ve ever been before” and Napoleon, who later got locked up in the very same cell, then read that message.
Sir Sidney Smith was an awesome character, by the way. You should definitely look up on him."
"Sony and Nintendo had an agreement that Sony would make a CD rom drive for the SNES (that’s why there is an expansion slot on the bottom of the SNES) When Sony had completed most of the work Nintendo cancelled the agreement hoping to scuttle Sony so they could take it over but Sony very quickly added their own parts and software and produced the first Playstation"
"Probably something everyone knows by now but my favorites are the ways the Spartans would talk sh#t as part of their culture. King Agesilaus of Sparta being given a tour of another city called its walls “wonderful women’s quarters.”
Or when Philip 2 of Macedon, Alexander’s daddy, said “If I win this war you will be slaves forever,” the Spartans simply replied “If.”"
"A governor put a bounty of $500 on the pirate Jean Lefitte. The pirate’s response was to put a $5,000 bounty on the governor’s head."
"“More weight.” –Giles Corey"
"During the cold war, the leader of Yugoslavia, Tito, was getting aid from the east and the west. Stalin didn’t like that so he sent an assassin, he was stopped so Stalin sent another assassin and that one was stopped so after awhile Tito got annoyed by all the assassins so he sent a letter to Stalin saying “stop sending people to kill me. If you do not stop sending killers I will send one to Moscow and I won’t have to send a second.”"
"I personally like Colonel John Sedgwick, a Unionist Colonel who was shot and killed by a sniper. His famous last words were “They couldn’t hit an elephant at this distance.”"
"I forgot the name of the place, but at one point during Alexander the Great campaign in Persia, right by the coast, there was a fortress on a Island. So he just filled the gap, turned it into a peninsula and besieged it."
"On his Deathbed Voltaire was asked to renounce Satan to save his soul. His response, “Now, now my good man, this is no time to be making enemies.” One last shot at stupidity."
"Caesar. He was caught by pirates who sent a ransom note and asked for lot of silver (a few tonnes but can’t remember the exact number). When the silver was delivered, Cesar said that he’ll “raise an army and kill the lot of you.” To which the pirate’s laughed.
Once Cesar sent word to Rome, he took a few Legions to the pirate’s home base and literally wiped out the entire base and got the ransom back."
"That one time that Caesar was besieging a castle, got surrounded, and built a castle around that castle, so instead of being attacked, he too was besieged. He beat the first castle, then beat the reinforcements."
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