"My sun glasses allow me to see some otherwise invisible pattern on these car windows"
"My edibles came with a CBD bar in case you get too high"
"My college’s engineering building has a house built on its roof"
"My school put up whiteboards to stop vandalism in the toilet rooms"
"Person that sat at my table before me put % tip on gratuity line instead of dollar amount"
"The way my wife makes avocado toast"
"A South Korean diplomatic pouch was left at my parents’ building, unattended"
"All the locked doors at this Target are unlocked"
"Only the German translation uses an exclamation point"
"This car has a dent on the back of it that makes it look like it has a massive pair of lips"
"There isn't any bacon in my bacon bits."
"Costco puts all trash in the same bag"
"It's been 26 years since the book I got at the library was last borrowed"
"Thirteen Cyber trucks just hanging out in a field by my work."
"My 7ft tall cactus snapped, exposing the spines that hold it together"
"This orange juice rapidly inflates itself immediately after closing"
"My pumpkin from October 2023 has not rotted as of late May 202"
"I’m still using a fan that was made in 1967"
"Baby bunny with no ears"
"A swarm of bees have formed on a BIXI bike in Montreal"
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As the old saying goes..."You can't have Menthol, without Meth."
i guess you haven't been to Denver where they require 20% gratuity on top of the meal always.
Denver does not require 20% tip you door knob. It may be prevalent at restaurants but not mandated, certainly not by the city. Same issue across the US.
Think monkey, think.
#8 You can thank the 'usual suspects' for this. And by "thank" I mean...
#9 That's so it sounds more 'Hitlery.'
#16 That's because it's too damn hot in your house.
#27 You "accidentally" walked into a donut shop? What did you think it was originally...you lying fat bastard.
#28 The shape of it is why it's called "Susan."