"I’ve Been Nerfed By The New Neighbor Kids Unarmed For The Last Time. Vengeance Will Be Swift"
Valentine's Day At 5:30 AM Part 2: Revenge
"Exactly one year ago, I surprised my less than morning people family with a 5:30 AM Valentine's Day breakfast at IHOP. Last night my wife warned me not to do that again today. I agreed, and then proceeded to work late at my office until nearly 2 AM. Then at 5:30 this morning, my kids woke me up with a "Surprise Daddy! We're taking you to IHOP!" My wife was standing behind them with an evil grin. Vengence was hers.
Coffee helped, but I was still barely awake. My wife on the other hand, was happy and perky. Turns out, getting back at me is something that makes it easy for her to get up early!"
"For $5, This Shelter Will Write The Name Of The Person You Hate On A Cat Litter Box"
"Called My Wife A Sandwich Maker As She Was Making My Lunch For Work"
"My Two Older Children Were Trying To Lay Out All Of Their Pokémon Cards, But The Youngest Kept Intervening, So They Duct-Taped Him To A Chair"
"This Is What Happens When You Take Up Two Parking Spaces"
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