"If you could stop time, you would not be able to see anything because light would stop moving."
"No matter how accurate a period drama is, it will always be ruined by a perfect Hollywood smile."
"We are not far away from a machine-learning enabled vibrator that learns personal preferences."
"We are not far away from a machine-learning enabled vibrator that learns personal preferences."
"Peeing in a urinal feels normal, but peeing in a stall with the door open doesn’t feel right."
"You can measure your lifespan accurately, but it comes with a price. "
"Being friends with someone who is a defense attorney must be exhausting."
"About three months after one’s annual birthday, people could also celebrate their conception day but no one ever does."
"The best time to correct someone for mispronouncing your name is the first time; the next best time is never."
"August feels like Sunday on a grand scale."
"Internet porn has made people more ambidextrous."
"The number of papercuts suffered has probably been declining year over year."
"Being as healthy as a horse isn’t a good thing, because one broken leg means you’re getting shot."
"In comic books it would be hard to indicate how fast superheroes are moving or flying, so the artists probably started putting capes on them, to show their speed."
"When’s the last time you blinked in a dream?"
"True attraction is the thrill of mutual comfortable excitement and true love is the excitement for comfortable mutual boredom."