“New to grilling. Lots of flames on the gas grill . What did I do wrong?”
“I started to cook dinner and it now looks like someone tried to eat my wooden spoon.”
“Went into Whole Foods for 45 seconds to drop off an Amazon return. Came out to this. I’m the Subaru.”
“And I’m the big dummy who accepted this at my own bar.”
“The one day I’m in Rio…”
“Out of nowhere my ceiling does this right before I’ve to go to bed”
“Neighbor owns a Ferrari Testarossa, my dream car. It appears to have exploded last night”
“Just 4 days ago, my son carved his first jack o’lantern and it looks like this…”
“A spider laid eggs in the keyhole to my shed.”
“Tried to do a fun doodle in my girlfriend’s birthday card, ended up drawing demonic nightmare fuel instead.”
“Someone on the Jimmy Dean assembly line was hungry.”
“Popeyes changed me $4.19 for this pitiful amount of fries”
“Someone hacked at one end of my catalytic converter- but I guess at least they weren’t able to get it off completely.”
“My MIL just turned 70 and to celebrate I was planning on making her a 4 course meal tomorrow night. I came home to this. Cat knocked a bottle off the fridge.”
“Left my vitamins in the truck”
“Had to throw away about half of this block of cheese we just bought.”
“Someone stole only my two left wheels.”
“I broke two bottles of Sangster’s rum cream while boarding the plane.”
“Just finished cleaning and resealing our garden shed. The next morning we heard a tapping noise, and went out to find a woodpecker cheerfully unsealing it!”
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