"We buy garbage bags just to throw them away."
"Our alarm clocks are the theme songs of our own daily sitcom."
“Go to bed, you’ll feel better in the morning” is the human version of “Did you turn it off and turn it back on again?”
"If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn’t that also make him the worst spy?"
"Peer pressure as an adult is seeing your neighbor mow their lawn."
"Crabs probably think that fish can fly."
"Your first birthday is technically your second birthday."
"Beans bags are just boneless sofas. "
"When we’re young, we sneak out of our houses to go to parties. When we’re old, we sneak out of parties to go home."
"If they mounted garbage trucks with cameras, you could update Google Maps street view every week."
"Can you daydream at night?"
"Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed. "
"In order to fall asleep, we have to pretend to be asleep."
"If tomatoes are fruit, then ketchup is jam."
"Why aren’t iPhone chargers called Apple juice?"
"Clapping your hands is just high-fiving yourself."
"Batman would look ridiculous trying to solve crimes outside on a sunny day."
• Don't insult other visitors. Offensive comments will be deleted without warning.
• Comments are accepted in English only.
• No swearing words in comments, otherwise such comments will be censored.
• Your nickname and avatar are randomly selected. If you don't post comments for 7 days, they both are reset.
• To choose another avatar, click the ‘Random avatar’ link.
