"We’re pretty lucky that the inside of our body itch isn’t a thing."
"The first horse to be ridden must have been surprised"
"I’ve realized that when you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery"
"Babies probably know and recognise most places from just their ceilings"
"Dreams feel like internal AI – everything feels like reality but you can tell something is off. Sometimes six fingers or you can fly. People, places, and things morph around in unusual ways"
"Grape soda is always purple, which completely ignores the fact that there are green grapes, too"
"Dating apps have created a sliver of human history where it’s possible to successfully flirt with someone while pooping"
"Antique shops are stores full of nostalgic stuff for old people"
"People who casually chew the dry skin off of their own lips are technically engaging in self canibalism"
"Humans get more instructions on how to microwave packaged meals than they do on raising a child from birth"
"Most left handed people still use their right hands to shake hands"
"While it is certainly even, the humber 777,777,772 feels weird to not be odd"
"When you eat a hot dog, you are making another one inside of you by mashing up meat and putting it in an intestine"
"Every bald person has already had the best hair day they’ll ever have"
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