“Turned my back for two minutes and my 2-year-old got creative with the Switch controllers..”
“Just got locked INSIDE my storage facility.”
“Been waiting ages for this, postman threw it through the kitchen window into the washing up bowl and, well yeah destroyed.”
“So, turns out abscesses are very bad if ur not careful.”
“Just destroyed a family heirloom. My father used the bowl for noodles and food in his first apartment in 1991, then my brother in 2016. Now I’m moving into my first apartment and just before the front door I slip and most of the glasses and the bowl break.”
“Someone decided to take a shit on my doorstep.”
"Well there’s your problem."
“The only chair available to sit on while getting an oil change.”
“Left chicken in the oven 4-5 hours as I slept. No dinner for me last night.”
"NO ONE is safe from the blue screen of death… not even Times Square."
“Purchased online prior to a trip to the water park today. Opened them only to discover… I’m a size 14 but can squeeze into a 13 when needed for shoes that don’t come in larger sizes. But size 11 is no bueno.”
“Sneezed right before blowing out a candle.”
“I’ve been getting harassed by Avis for a car I never rented for months now. Now they are saying the car is totaled.”
“A tree limb pierced our house javlin style.”
“Went to hop into the hot tub. It’s suddenly green and frothy.”
“They forgot the mozzarella in my mozzarella sticks.”
“I couldn’t get my passport done today because of my bizarre fingerprints.”
“My parents’ pool exploded today.”
“I got back to my car at 11:05. The gate out of the parking lot was locked.”
“Someone stolen our ac unit.”
“Forgot to turn my wifi back on after a local outage.”
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#9 Tesla strikes again
#20 What happened to you is called 'Time Dialation' it's what happens when you smoke marijuana. Lay off the 420 when doing important things like driving.