“I bought some crab dip today and was really excited about my special snack for myself..”
“My mom baked a huge batch of walnut and cardamom shortbread for a get-together only for it to be canceled because the host got attacked by a swarm of yellow jackets.”
“Cooked curry for the past 2 hours only to find out the Zucchini tasted bitter…I have to trash it now.”
“I think my siri is low-key evil.”
“The “cheese dip” I got with my takeout at lunch today was still just shredded cheese.”
“I accidentally dropped my laptop charger on my iPad Pro that I’ve kept in perfect condition since 2020.”
“Heard some noise outside the fence last night as the wife and I enjoyed our Japanese private bath. Went to check it out today and found hole that can be used for peeping.”
“My gfs mom backed into (my old car) in October 2024. Today August 2025 she did it again to my new car. Girlfriends mom takes no responsibility both times saying it was my fault because both times it happened I was working a different shift at work, and that I should have stuck to my normal shift. me and girlys relationship is at an all time strain level.”
“An explosion in the drunk neighbor’s apartment just 4 days after I finally dared to buy a flat with all my money and years of loans.”
“Crashed my first car of one month, and then got fired in the same week. Life.”
“My gray hairs always stick up like antenna.”
“I’ve been mixing paint for 8 years. First time my entire fist somehow ended up in the can.”
“Forgot to ask casheir to remove this.”
“Many moons ago, someone had a bad day.”
“12 foot truck went under an 11’9” bridge”
“My neighbor’s boat is through the roof.”
“My Arizona Tea had stuff growing in it.”
“Watermelon was fermenting and exploded, vinegar ran all over the kitchen.”
“My last name is Corona. I have to explain to each and every service that whatever I do isn’t a joke.”
“Water corporation dug up the pathway in front of my garage with zero notice, no idea when it will be finished. Car trapped inside.”
“This is the 4th time this has happened.”
“He’s having a little trouble keeping up with traffic.”
“Been feeling self conscious about some recent weight gain. Wife tells me it’s in my head and I need to be kinder to myself. Then this happens.”
“After a year of growing my pineapple was finally ready to be picked.”
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Yup, lawyer up and enjoy