Some dude robbed a store with a pair of shorts on his head.
Some dude adopted his girlfriend.
Busch Gardens allowed visitors to play tug-a-war with a tiger.
These two guys killed their neighbor's pet turkey.
God told this woman to drive 100mph.
This 52-year-old woman rode a manatee...
...and was later arrested.
The "Mystery Monkey" was caught.
The Hulk Hogan sex tape happened.
This giant mysterious eyeball washed up on a beach.
A Fox News-obsessed man stabbed his wife because she didn't like Fox News.
This dude shit his pants.
This dude got a DUI with a squirrel in his shirt.
A little girl got electrocuted and died FROM PLAYING MINI GOLF.
A restaurant thought it was okay to have an item on its menu called the "Wetback Willie."
These giant Gambian pouched rats infiltrated the Florida Keys.
There was a fight over HARMONICAS.
A woman called the cops because she didn't know where to pee in the woods.
Young people drank hand sanitizer.
A man got a DUI on his lawnmower.
A guy died from eating roaches.
This old man allowed his grandson to get a tattoo.
A man got violent over garlic knots.
A fish attacked a teacher.
This guy was arrested:
A goat broke a world record.
These women got in a violent fight over taco sauce.
A man attacked 3 women with a sword and a sandwich.
A woman attacked a man with ice cream.
This mom bit her daughter over a Rihanna CD.
Raccoons peed on students.
A ninja robber terrorized the state.
This guy ate another guy's arm.
This guy ate another guy's face.
And a woman had her butthole tattooed.