When you look like this on the swing set
When you look like this in a toy car
When you look like this at the pediatrician's office
When you get too big for the school bus
When this happens at the McDonald's playplace
When your body gets too big for limber gymnastics
When you look like this on a scooter
Or this on a tricycle
When you actually can't get out of a swing
When you start to shave
When you discover other people's bodies
When you get too big to play with a kickball
When you lose interest in friendly animals
When your mom can't lift you anymore
When you get too big for the seesaw
Or the carnival
Or tree climbing
When you get too big for bike riding
Or bunk beds
Or slides
When your moves become too violent for kickball
When this happens at the playground
Or this
Or this
When you take out like four kids on a water slide
When this happens
When the swing set tells you enough is enough
And finally, when you discover you're an alcoholic
.