Don’t waste your time, just give up already.
Let's be honest, it's been so long you'll probably end up looking like this:
Or you'll get tangled in a web of disappointment like this:
Gym equipment is also unreliable:
Like, really unreliable:
And working out outside is just as dangerous:
You're not safe in your driveway:
And you're certainly not safe on the beach:
Or in your dorm room:
Or your garage:
And you're especially not safe if you live with a cat:
You think you're an expert? You'll probably still end up looking like this:
"But what about swimming? That sounds much, much safer!" THINK AGAIN, NUMBSKULL:
And if you're a 275 pound man who thinks skateboarding is a good way to exercise... think again:
And don't even get me started on treadmills. Dangerous, dangerous treadmills:
Does this look like it's worth it?
What about this?
WHAT ABOUT THIS???
Did you know that treadmills are actually programmed to embarrass you?
In conclusion, if you're going to go to the gym, copy what this guy is doing: