"Stop skipping pilates!"
"This is what you get for inflating me once a decade."
"40 - Love, punk."
"Take the ball from a little kid? Well, enjoy this guilt trip."
"You leave me in the garage for 7 months and NOW you wanna play?"
"I'm an exercise ball. This isn't exercise. Show me some respect!"
"Oh, you thought you were safe?"
"Oh, sure I'll totally stay still while you jump off the freakin' roof."
"I'm so sorry! I thought you were Erin Andrews!"
"This is for all my homies you lost in the woods."
"Remember that time you dropped me in the mud and didn't wash me off? Well, I do."
"Hey kid, being reckless is an outdoor sport."
"Didn't think your mom would ever find out about this little fight club, eh?"
"Next year, don't ask for an Easy Bake Oven on your Christmas list."
"I heard you've been picking on my little brother.
"Seriously, who hell left me alone with the HORSE?"
"FYI, I am not a dog's chew toy!"
"Just curious, but what was the actual plan here?"
"'Aww, look at the baby. Look at the baby.' Look at ME goddammit!"
"You can barely make it to the bathroom without falling, what made you think this was gonna work?
"For the last time, stop telling your little brother he swings like a girl."
"You didn't think I'd let you get away with kicking me out of the sand trap, did you?"
"Tammy told me you hated Cast Away."
"What did you think was gonna happen?"
"Nice reflexes, bro."
"This is for all the jerks who refused to save me from that CVS cage."
"My name is Wilson Evolution. You deflated my father. Prepare to die."